One Thing

We live in a noisy world and it’s getting louder. Our self worth hangs on a thread and most days we wonder if we are enough.

This week, I spent time with a 50 something friend who was battling frustration and wrestling with a deep fear of the future and regrets she felt over past decisions. She was almost paralyzed by the place she found herself. Tears filled her eyes and I could sense pain behind her words. My friend has a good life in many ways. She is healthy, has strong family ties, a steady income and solid life giving friendships, but at the deepest place within she deals with a heavy load of shame and angst.

She is not alone. There is a collective group of us who wonder if we are valuable and do we matter. We are told we are unique and created in the image of  an incredible God, but instead feel like a hot mess. Why?

We want to count for something.  Maybe it’s the number of years I see ticking by on the calendar but I too find myself weighing my past against the future. It’s an unsettled place. Much like the old school recess game of teeter- totter where we willfully chose to place our well being in the hands of a playground pal on the other end of a 12 foot board, a great deal of life is a balancing act.

Photo credit - UnSplash*
Photo credit – UnSplash*

What then? As women, we struggle. We long to do life well, but wrestle with comparison and perfectionism. I am in love with the words of John Steinbeck because he speaks so clearly to this very thing.

And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.                —John Steinbeck

Perfection cannot be the goal. Nor can being like everyone else. Another childhood game we love to play is follow the leader. Imitation and conformity may be the goal of a child’s game, but it is not a good fit for us.

Photo Courtesy of UnSplash*

We don’t need to be more of everyone else.  But rather, we are needed in all of the beautiful uniqueness God has placed within us. We absolutely don’t need to be replicas of anyone else.

The place you are, your family, home and life speak to you; we need you just as you are.

“Don’t be the next anybody. Be deeply, weirdly, completely, totally you”.  

Shauna Niequist

 Today, you have permission to live creatively, laugh loudly, wear crazy shoes, buy red lipstick or take a nap. Spend an evening sitting in the dark listening to great jazz, dancing in the kitchen with the music up loud or stretched out on the floor playing legos with your son. Whatever brings you great joy step into it! Push aside the voices who whisper “you can’t” or “you’re not enough.” Sister, girlfriend – you can and you are!

With abandon and without perfection do this one thing today.

 

to-live-a-creative-life-lose-fear

Whatever you might do, work from the soul, as to the Lord and not to men. Colossians 3:23 

My friend, I am on this journey with you. We have one life this side of heaven and I encourage you to live well and without regret. Whatever you do, big or small, it brings praise and honor to God.

You might stumble along the way but lose your fear of being wrong. Be brave and step away from the lie of perfectionism! I am planning to do the same.

Photo Courtesy of UnSplash
Photo Courtesy of UnSplash

My prayer today is for you to step into a place of courage without perfection…..with your dancing shoes on! 

Blessings-

nancy bouwens coach

 

 

 

P.S. Love to hear what it looks like in your world as you embrace the thought of living without fear and perfection.  Comment, share or shoot me an email.  Hugs!!

 

 

8 Comments

  1. Beautiful. Just beautiful. I just read my devotion about finding my place and running the race. I feel like I should have all of these goals for my career and my Christian journey, and I am just stuck. But I have huge desire to be an amazing mom and an amazing wife and to live a life that brings others to Christ and to share my story along the way. Your blog reminds me that’s all God requires. Thanks so much! Have a wonderful day!

    1. Brittany- running our race and finding our place… Such powerful words. Why is it so easy to vear from our course and try to run a race which is not the we are called to?

      Blessings – go be awesome !!
      Nancy

  2. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

    I find that, at least in recent years, I’m much more interested in what people have planned for the future than what they did in the past. I think we seek these huge moments that define when in reality, it’s the tiny stuff that makes us who we are.

    I hope you shared this with your friend and that you are in a higher place and can pull her up to see where you stand. The view is better up there anyway. 🙂

    1. Bradley- “it’s the tiny stuff that makes us who we are” … love it! Life is a collection of the small,seemingly ordinary moments gathered up into our days, months and years- all creating a life and legacy which is our stamp upon the world.

      Blessings-Nancy
      p.s. i did share this with my friend 🙂

  3. In my health group this week I passed out a sheet called, “Be Bad.” The idea is that we are so concerned about being perfect we make ourselves crazy. It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s ok to be bad. Eat a piece of chocolate, delete the unread emails, don’t make the bed, allow the typos – whatever it is, don’t be perfect – be bad.

    For me today, I’m going to go to the grocery store (so I can actually use my kitchen! [You know what that means for me!]), buy some delicious food, crank my music while I cook and dance while I do it! (Just 2 more weeks and I can do that ALL the time!!)

    Thank you for always making us feel special, Nancy! You are a treasure!

    1. Kathy-
      Ah yes- gloriously imperfect we are! I love the idea of “be bad” .. it IS oky not to be perfect!

      Dance on 🙂

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