peeling paint signals neglect

How to Make Amends Without Losing Yourself in the Process

One of the best ways to simplify your life is to clean up relationships you already have. Maintaining what you have before you expand into new places is key. However, many of us neglect one of the most important relationships we have, one you constantly neglect- yourself. All things neglected will fade to a state of disrepair.

peeling paint signals neglect
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What are your less than desirable traits? Are you too critical of yourself or judgemental of others? Hmm.. there is actually nothing attractive about judging others- quite the opposite in fact. Nobody likes to be judged and spoken down to. If you struggle in this arena, it may because you are too hard on yourself.

Perfectionism can be the death of many a dream, goal or friendship. No one can measure up to being perfect. High standards are admirable and something to reach towards, but if find yourself constantly evaluating yourself and found wanting,  you may be too harsh of a taskmaster in your own world. If you wrestle with this on a personal level, you likely will see it in relationships with others.

If you have not forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?   Dolores Huerta

How to  uncover a cure for this ugliness? The silver bullet may be easier to find than you realize. It starts with you. You must forgive yourself for shortcomings, personal failures, and disappointments you have been party to. The past is not able to be changed, but the future still waits to be written.

God’s word encourages us to start fresh in Him and cease our struggle.

Come, let’s talk this over, says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!  Isaiah 1:18

 

Most people have a whole list of thing they have been carrying around which they have not forgiven themselves for and are still beating themselves up about. Let forgiveness be the standard by which you live and breathe today. Tomorrow may be too late to give or receive forgiveness.

things to forgive
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Today’s Challenge-  To err is human. We all have made mistakes. Take out a pen and paper and begin to make a list of the things you have struggled to forgive yourself for or others you wrestle with the gift of  forgiveness.

  • Go way back
  • Can you make amends?
  • If distance or death prevents actual amends write a letter to the person.
  • Apologize.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Pray & ask God for help in the areas which seem impossible.
  • Do what you can where you can.
  • Take your list, fold it tight- tear into tiny pieces, put it in a bowl or jar…light a match. Watch, and let them go. All of them.
  • Ask for grace from God to let them go… and keep letting them go.

Today may have been difficult for you… Please leave your name in the comments and I will committ to praying for you in days ahead. If you would like to share your thoughts there.. feel free to do so- this is a safe place my reader friend. Blessings!!

If you are enjoying this journey please invite your friends, family and random strangers to join in- the world will be a better place because of it!  Share the love and bring them along  or stop by Facebook for more  love as you begin to enjoy a richer life you cherish!  

2 Comments

  1. Sometimes there may be no amends needed because no wrongs happened. Or maybe the amends have already been done. Maybe the friendship just is no more – or at least no longer deep – for inevitable reasons. Maybe there is no common ground anymore. Nothing to bind you together. However, in those cases there may still be grieving to do. Mourning the loss of what used to be and never can be again. Closure and moving on.

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